A new Cat Kingdom, a change of scenery for Spring


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Spring is finally here, hurrah!

In fact the weather is so excellent that a few nights ago, my friend Mr Fluffy and I made it out for an all-nighter at the Cat Club. There was a Happy Hour on the catnip from midnight until 3 am, and unfortunately I think I may have had one too many.

At the end of the night, I had a bit of an argument with Mr Fluffy. I advised him that he should change his name, as Mr. Fluffy was quite a silly name. But he answered that most people think that my name “Cat” is way too common. I told Mr. Fluffy that he had no idea of what he is talking about. Then we had another catnip and made friends again.

cat looking up at person in striped socks

Bring me my food tribute right now Mr. Striped Socks.

In much more important and life-changing news, I have actually MOVED! I’ve exchanged my Car Park Kingdom for a rather spacious apartment in West London, with adjoining garden. I must say that I was very reluctant to make this move. What eventually changed my mind was that two Tall Things promised me if I did agree to move, the would supply me with a¬†food-tribute on a regular basis. Also, they have central heating, and it’s pretty hard to argue with that even for me.

I will miss sleeping on top of cars. But on the upside, my new Kingdom is much warmer, and there do not appear to be any loud dogs nearby. Sayanara Mr. Rottweiler.

I’d love to write more, but right now I’ve got a massively full day of napping, fur coat cleaning and exploring under the furniture. I’ve already discovered quite a bit of dust under one of the sofas, and frankly I will need to have a word with the Tall Things about cleaning all that up.

I also need to find a Cat Club closer to home.

picture of a cat paw printpicture of a cat paw print


Cats and the battle against flooding


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The past few weeks have seen the worst weather I can remember in the past 25 years. Terrible. A-paw-ling.

The puddles are rising all around my Carpark Kingdom, the drains are getting blocked, and my food bowl is getting flooded. What is a Cat to do? I demanded that the Tall Things provide me with sandbags, but they were too busy sheltering under umbrellas, which frankly seems rather selfish.

I have retreated to the safety of my Scooter seat and am keeping a constant vigil against the rising tide. If it gets any worse, I shall move onto the roof. Or, possible I may go to live in one of the Tall Thing’s houses, if they are lucky and offer me enough cat food.

Another thing is that all the rain has decimated the moth population. No moths, no moth chasing. My second most important activity after snoozing and napping has been ruined. I hope my friend Pippa is okay. I haven’t seen her since all the bad weather started, as she refuses to go out in rain. Something about it being bad for her glossy coat and paw-care.

A flooded food bowl and a ruined social life. Pesky raindrops.

picture of a cat on a scooter

A constant vigil against the rising tide

Seeing the world through green tinted sardine tin glasses


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It’s been an incredibly challenging few weeks for me. One of my main objectives in life, to snooze for about 16 hours per day, was jeopardised.

Some of the Tall Things that work in the offices at my Carpark Kingdom decided to move all their things out of the building. What a kerfuffle. Trucks coming and going, boxes, mess and goodness knows what else. In short, they kept me awake. So I complained.

Although they did not stop making noise, my complaints did do a little good. One of the more intelligent Tall Things did give me a tin of sardines by way of apology and tribute. I suppose that did go someway to brightening the day and making my eyes and fur brighter.

picture of a green eyed cat

La Vie en Vert

I thought about saving a sardine for Pippa, but she isn’t coming around until midnight, and honestly it was impossible to wait that long. I mean, much as I’m fond of her, have you ever tried to save a sardine for more than 10 minutes? It’s really quite impossible.

The Sardine Tribute to the Kingdom of Cat

picture of an empty sardine tin

An excellent spot of fish

My cat on a hot tin roof enjoying a nice bit of winter sun


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It’s been rather rainy in my cat Kingdom recently, and we don’t like raindrops, no not at all. In a rare dry sunny spell, I took the opportunity to visit my pal Roger, who works as a night watch cat guarding various warehouses.

Understandably, he tends to sleep for most of the day, and when I visited him, he was indeed catching forty winks. I decided not to wake him, because sleep is the most important activity a busy cat can take part in, well, that is after catching moths, running after bits of string, and of course eating. Did I miss any others? Not sure. Anyhow, Roger doesn’t take kindly to being woken up, and who can blame him.

black and white cat asleep on a car roof

A nice bit of sun

picture of a cat paw print

Back on guard duty on my shiny Audi


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Dear Diary,

The past few weeks I’ve been rushed off my paws. What with catching moths, supervising the bark-machine known as Mr Rott Weiler next door (supervising from a distance), and demanding tribute from Tall Things who suddenly seemed to all be offering my Turkey bones, it’s been all rush and fur washing.

cat on Audi, focus on Audi logo

I love my Audi

For a while, my favourite piece of furniture, this shiny Audi, disappeared from my Kingdom (an office car park). Was it stolen, or some was it some kind of prank by the Tall Thing that takes it to be cleaned every night? I don’t know, but they need to ask me about that kind of thing, really.

In other news, I haven’t spotted my girlfriend Pippa for weeks. I have a feeling she’s staying warm indoors because of all this chilly weather. My destiny lies elsewhere. When I next see her, I need to have a chat with her about the majesty of the Great Outdoors.

Money can’t buy you love but catfood can


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It is the middle of the week already. Time goes by fast when there are so many warm engines in my Kingdom (office car park).

Note to diary: try to explain to the Tall Things who walk through my Kingdom that they need to pay me more tribute. In other words, catfood. We cats may seem a bit aloof and cold sometimes, but that isn’t correct. We are waiting for the catfood tribute to be paid.

My cool technique for staying warm


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It’s been a very hectic weekend. Saturday night we had a fence-jumping competition: who could jump the highest. I came third, but I’m not very pleased about that as I was beaten by Mr Tibbles, who has only lived in the area for one week. Sunday I mostly slept.

Monday – well I want to share with you a brilliant way to stay warm now that winter is coming. Wait for a car to arrive and park, and once the Tall Thing driving leaves the area, then jump on the hood above the engine and it’s wonderfully toasty.


picture of a black cat on the hood of a mini

How to stay warm and look cool